Wordless messages that my students need to hear
It’s been brewing.
Amidst the teaching, planning, emailing, grading (plus home life — PLUS the excitement of BASEBALL POST SEASON — woohoo!!) I've been tossing ideas and theories around inside my head. At the moment my ideas feel scattered — like my brain is excitedly juggling a few dozen ping pong balls. But I think the ideas are good and I’m excited about taking proactive steps to organize them. I have a hunch that they will develop and shed clarifying light into the factors that perpetuate the vice-grip pressure that is palpably felt in the educational setting.
So here I go — a brain dump onto this blog post that I’m writing while at Starbucks — a long, 2 hour wait before I can pick up my daughters from theater and ballet practice and rush home to watch Thursday night football!! hehehe
First thought:
Is it worthwhile for educators to value emotional intelligence?
Throughout the brief existence of this website — I’ve invested a lot of energy concentrating on being honest with my own, personal pressures and vulnerabilities. To date…
…I admitted that teaching gets hard for me because of some of my childhood trauma and experiences.
…I’ve invited teachers (thanks JEFF, MATTHEW, STEPH, TIMOTHY, SARAH, KATHY, ANONYMOUS and REBECCA) to share vulnerably about what teacher pressure is like for them.
…I’ve spent energy reflecting on my feelings and body sensations (and shared free tools for feelings tracking).
…I’ve struggled and strained to reverse course and wake up to the value of caring for my SELF
…I’ve mused about ‘does emotional health impact teacher effectiveness?’
But why??! The question is: is there any value to emphasizing the importance of emotional introspection and vulnerability?
My answer (a few months into the development of this website) is: a resounding YES for three reasons. It’s important for me (as an educator) because:
…emotionally self-monitoring helps me avoid crashing out. It helps me be more stable and whole, which is good for me and those around me (including my students).
…emotionally self-monitoring can help me avoid the toxic consequences of blame shifting. If I’m largely unaware of my interior world, I will mistakenly believe that the ‘outside world’ is to blame for my stress. (i.e. blaming my clueless and out-of-touch administers, viewing myself as a victim of a faulty educational system at large, perceiving students to be idiotic jerks and their parents to be lazy, irresponsible fools, etc.)
…students need emotionally healthy adults in their lives.
Second thought:
Wordless messages that my students need to hear.
I’ve been tossing around the idea that I can cause a lot of pressure for myself as a teacher if I struggle/fail to communicate what students need to hear. (Side note: I think students need to hear different messages from their teachers depending on their age.) Here’s a brain dump of messages — in no particular order — that I think my 9th grade students need to hear.
“I see and validate that you are going through hard, emotional things.”
“I see and validate that you are normal.”
“I see and validate that you are fun, unique, worthwhile and worth celebrating.”
“I see that you are talented so I will design instructional experiences that challenge and enrich you.”
“I see that you are talented so I will let you take a co-pilot’s seat in designing your instructional experiences.”
“I see that you are inundated with information and stimulation. As an instructor I will care for you as you are experiencing information overload in our society, on your devices and in this school.”
“A lot of your struggles are not your fault. A lot of your struggles are due to the failure of adults like me.”
“I will treat you with compassion because of what you’ve suffered under the leadership of hurtful adults and hurtful educational systems.”
“I see and validate that you are anxious and scared of your peers. I feel compassionate for you because I experience it too and I will do what is reasonably with in my power to protect you from social anxiety while you are in my classroom.”
“I see that you are scared of yourself and wondering if who you are becoming is loveable and acceptable. I am not scared of you. Even though you might push me away (as a defense mechanism) I will respectfully approach you to communicate that at the core of who you are YOU ARE GOOD and interesting and worth spending time with.”
“As an educator I do have a job of guiding you through a district-approved curriculum that is anchored in state-produced learning standards. I will energetically do my job without forgetting that I am teaching complex human beings that are not simple, information-receiving robots.”
“Although you think it is nice to resist strong leadership and authority, I know that subconsciously you are craving a strong, loving adult to lead you and your peers. I’ll be that strong, loving adult to lead you on a district approved instructional journey.”
Third thought:
The above messages are best communicated without words.
Fourth thought:
I think classrooms breakdown because educators (like me) don’t know how to effectively communicate these messages to students. The breakdown causes pressure-filled confrontations that stress both teachers and students. The stress builds and spirals into further breakdowns.
Fifth thought:
I think educators (including me) can benefit from brainstorming ways to effectively communicate messages (like the ones listed above) to students. I think it will lead to 1) students feeling emotionally relieved and 2) enable students to find increased academic success.
Sixth thought:
My time at starbucks is running out and I have to go pick up my daughters.
Seventh thought:
I’m looking forward to writing more about these things.
